Back to Work Already?
Women are not guaranteed paid maternity leave, affordable childcare, adequate resources, or accommodations as working parents in America.
After having children, women with careers are generally expected to get back into the workforce as soon as possible without regard for their health or their child’s well-being.
Otherwise, women may be penalized in the workforce for their absence. For example, women may be subject to decreased earning potential, less work opportunities, or economic hardship from leave without pay.
Families are forced to make the difficult decision for one or both parents to return to work.
In some cases, mothers must quickly return to work (even shortly after giving birth) to maintain their job security.
If this wasn’t already difficult enough, society passes judgement on women who choose to go back to work instead of primarily raising their young children (1).
Women are expected to work, but sadly, can also be criticized for it. Not only are working moms expected to fulfill childcare responsibilities, but they are also expected to keep up with demanding work requirements.
The pressure placed on working mothers is to “do it all”.
The Systemic Challenges Working Moms Face
At the national level, the U.S. does not mandate paid parental leave (2). The lack of support for parents raising small children forces mothers and fathers to choose work over staying home.
Some states have created a version of paid family leave (3), but a majority of the states in America do not have policies in place in support young families.
The lack of support creates added stress and financial burden on parents. Especially for working mothers who feel conflicted about working to provide for their family and raising children.
Furthermore, without support from employers or government policies many working parents struggle to find affordable and quality childcare options for their children.
The national average for childcare in the U.S. for a single child is $11,582 per year.
Childcare can be an unreasonable cost even if parents choose lower priced centers.
Besides cost, families must also consider the health and safety, quality, business practices, staff training and education, program structure, and learning activities within childcare settings (4).
Given these issues, it’s not surprising that mothers and fathers are negotiating traditional gender roles.
One parent staying home isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity.
The Mental and Emotional Toll of working outside the home
Women who return to work soon after having children are at risk for health complications – particularly during the postpartum period. Balancing family and career can be extremely burdensome for working mothers.
The extra burden placed on mothers can impact healing and recovery and can also contribute to anxiety and depressive symptoms.
Needless to say, it is very challenging for mothers to manage their health while tending to work duties and the needs of others.
Postpartum consists of rapidly changing hormones, sleepless nights, and extreme fatigue. It also includes emotional breakdowns, loss of self, and tension and strain on relationships.
Adding work on top of a stressful time is very problematic for postpartum mothers.
Mental and emotional symptoms are often overlooked by healthcare providers, employers, family, and friends who underestimate the stress from childbirth and working.
When mothers break down from the overload, they are sometimes made to feel that they are unstable or incapable of managing life’s demands. Which is so far from the truth of the matter.
The truth is that working mothers don’t have the support they need. Burnout, feeling consumed by guilt, and hopelessness are all too common themes for moms struggling with multiple roles and identities.
No Shame
If you are a working mother, it is important to recognize that the current work/life model in America was not designed to support your health, well-being, and role as a mother to your children.
Working mothers should not be wrongfully judged or shamed for their decision to work. The conversation of work v.s. staying home needs to acknowledge that our current society is not equipped to support career advancement, money making opportunities, and parenthood at the same time.
Until we create and implement better solutions to support young families, it’s important for you as a working mother to prioritize your mental, emotional, and physical health. This means setting boundaries, asking for help when you can, and making choices that are best for you and your family.
Being a working mom is not easy. Give yourself empathy and understanding for the struggles you face on the daily.
Finding Hope and Building a Path Forward
As advocates for change, working moms and stay-at-home dads need to talk about these issues and bring awareness to a larger social problem of our modern day.
Both mothers and fathers can’t be expected to “do it all”. There has to be some understanding that the pressures and demands of life while raising small children can be highly unrealistic.
Unfortunately, it’s not as easy as relying on family, friends, and peers to help share the burden of work and parenting. Support networks can be small or even non-existent for young families.
We need social support, affordable childcare options, flexible work options, and most importantly, paid parental leave programs for new parents.
Advocating for change is difficult, but the conversation has to start somewhere. First, find out if your state offers paid family leave programs or flexible work options for parents.
If they don’t, research and reach out to local organizations or groups that are working towards implementing these policies in your community. Don’t be afraid to share your own experiences and struggles as a working parent.
By speaking up and advocating for change, we can create a better future for all families.