Postpartum refers to the period of time after the birth of your child. It is full of highs and lows.

Women experience dramatic changes to their mind and body. There is physical trauma from birth and sudden and intense drop in hormone levels after.

Men also experience changes postpartum that impact their overall health. These changes are compounded by extreme sleep deprivation, stress, and the adjustment to new parenthood.

Since everything happens so quickly, you can barely process it all. Naturally, you go into survival mode to keep up with the mental, emotional, and physical demands of caring for your partner, newborn, and yourself.

The stress during this time can feel nearly impossible to manage. Although you are happy and excited to be a dad, you also feel overwhelmed and exhausted.

In your daze, you wonder when the sleepless nights will end, if the tension between you and your partner will stop, and if you will ever feel normal again.

Slowly over the course of days, weeks, and months you find yourself sinking deeper and deeper. You become increasingly depressed. So much so that it feels like you can hardly do anything about it.

After all, who can you talk to? Who would understand? And who would really care?

You weren‘t the one who gave birth, remember?

Instead of seeking help, you hide your sadness, depression, and that feeling of hopelessness… Because as a man, you can’t talk about postpartum blues.

Understanding the Postpartum Period

Postpartum blues, also known as postpartum depression (PPD), frequently occurs in mothers, but can also affect fathers¹.

It is characterized by depressed mood, loss of interest, fatigue, low energy, difficulty to think or concentrate, feelings of hopelessness, and in some cases, thoughts of suicide. ²

Risk factors for men developing PPD include:

History of depression
Marital discord
Poverty
And unintended pregnancy¹

It’s also worth mentioning that if your partner becomes depressed, it is a strong predictor that you will develop depression like symptoms tooEscribà-Agüir, V., & Artazcoz, L. (2011).³

Other risk factors for PPD include lack of social support, significant negative life events, and hormonal changes.

Surprisingly, both women and men experience hormonal changes during pregnancy and several months after the birth of the child.

Men can experience decreased testosterone levels and increased cortisol, vasopressin, and prolactin hormones. The changes in men’s hormone levels are thought to assist men with attachment and bonding to their child. The hormonal fluctuations, however, can also cause unwanted side effects such as depression¹

Men can develop PPD throughout the first year postpartum. According to studies, its highest prevalence is within 3 to 6 months after the birth of the child¹.

Maternal Health

Giving birth, caring for a newborn, and trying to breastfeed is hard. Women go through so much to bring children into this world.

It’s not surprising that they may feel down, have anxiety, become tearful, irritable, or depressed afterbirth.

For postpartum mothers, mood swings are normal, but discouraging at the same time.

As her partner, it’s imperative that you provide emotional support throughout the postpartum healing and recovery process.

According to the National Library of Medicine, “the weeks following birth lay the foundation of long-term health and well-being for the woman and her infant”.⁴

If we’re honest, women hardly get the attention they deserve.

As men, we don’t always recognize their needs. Similarly, friends and family members anxiously wait to meet the new baby, but sometimes forget that the mother needs attention too.

Even worse, the United States is far behind when it comes to appropriate maternal care.

Medical establishments don’t provide much support beyond 6 weeks postpartum.

As a nation, we need to do better providing care and support for postpartum families³.

This includes creating and implementing policies that offer paid leave and greater assistance for both maternal and paternal mental health.

Seeking Mental Health Support

Fathers need to prioritize their mental well-being. This is especially crucial during the postpartum period when many fathers experience increased stress, anxiety, and depression.

There’s nothing worse than watching your partner break down.

You want to be there and help support your partner, but when you feel the same way inside, it becomes almost impossible.

Even though you need to be strong, there’s nothing wrong with seeking help. Seeking support shows incredible strength and courage, not weakness.

Being a father comes with challenges and responsibilities. It is overwhelming, exhausting, and extremely stressful at times. This is why taking care of your mental health should be a top priority.

When we take care of ourselves, we can take better care of those around us.

What Does Help Look Like?

First, having a child is hard. There’s no way around that, but understand that you weren’t meant to handle this situation all on your own.

Some people have more support than others, but it is still a difficult and challenging time for everyone.

There will be moments when your child is inconsolable, won’t go to sleep, or have some other issue that needs your immediate attention. It’s easy to get stressed out, become upset, or have difficulty dealing with everything at once.

How can you get help or talk about your mental health when you feel like you shouldn’t?

At the very least, it’s important to call on your partner for help.

You and your partner are a team. Together, you can foster mutual support, share responsibilities, and support one another emotionally.

By having open communication and transparency, you can help reduce postpartum blues.

It’s been found that some type of social support can serve as a protective factor against depression⁵

If you’re not able to lean on your partner for whatever reason, it may be necessary to seek professional help, especially if depressive symptoms persist or worsen.

You may need to seek medical advice for hormonal problems, therapy for mental health, and supportive groups specifically for fathers.

Conclusion

It’s important to identify, understand, and address postpartum mental health for both parents.

Postpartum doesn’t affect women only. Men can also experience the negative effects of postpartum.

It may feel scary to expose your pains and struggles, but that’s why we need to help lift each other up.

You were never meant to do this alone.

Support other dads by sharing your experience, offering advice, and creating a safe space to talk about these experiences. Comment below!

Postpartum Blues: Depression in Men and Women

Understanding the Postpartum Period

Maternal Health

Seeking Mental Health Support

What Does Help Look Like?

Conclusion